And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
