Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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