Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
