so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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