Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
there is puke in my bra ... again
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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