An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The best revenge is premature balding
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
