it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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