I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
