She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
