so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
