I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
