Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
