good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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