Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry chrisiedonnelly hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(407): View more from Florida

He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't remember what your face looks like..

(727): View more from Florida

I don't remember your face either, just your dick.

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(607): View more from New York

The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!

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(775): View more from Nevada

Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.

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(205): View more from Alabama

My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.

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(972): View more from Texas

Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL

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