I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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