I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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