I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
