After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
