I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize