I wanna passion pit in your ass
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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