So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
