So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
