How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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