I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
