The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
