i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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