I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
