I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
