question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the day after is always just damage control
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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