If that was your dad, he is hot
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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