Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize