I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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