just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
