but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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