It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
