btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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