Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Randomize
