This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
