Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize