I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize