Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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