Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Randomize
