you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
