maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
