SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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