I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
