i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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