Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
