wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
