it wasn't lemon gatorade
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
