I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
