Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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