her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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