During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he was CRYING into my vagina
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's blow job season.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
