To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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