You made me cry and you don't even care
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
