I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
