i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
