Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
