look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
