just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
