i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
